From the Ashes
by may-we-meet-again-love
Summary: AU. How do you move on when your personal sun has been ripped from your life forever? Bx? Reposted.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is an extended version of a one shot I once wrote. I wanted to expand on Bella's grief from that particular story line and explore whether choosing Jacob had made a difference on how she viewed life overall and how she would move on. Since this story's first posting, I took the advice of a past reviewer and did some more research into my heritage and then reservation dynamics as a whole. After reading the Tribal Constitution for this particular tribe, I found what I was looking for in sections of the article listing powers of the Tribal Council, concerning the regulating of all domestic relations on the reservation being left to the Tribal Council, both of members of the Tribe and of nonmembers married into the Tribe as well as regulating the inheritance of property. I am choosing to (very) loosely interpret these lines for the purpose of the story for purely fictional and literary reasons. Being that these great people are part of my heritage and given my vast respect for all Indigenous cultures, I mean absolutely no disrespect or disregard. I apologize if any is found, it was not my intent. x3**

 _ ***The Tribal Constitution was provided on the reservation's main page in PDF format for public review, available to all.***_

 **Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer, the creator of Twilight.**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 1**_

* * *

It wasn't possible. It just wasn't possible. There was no way that _he_ was in that box. That large...pine...box. That box that was now having dirt tossed onto it as she watched. Dirt. What had he said about dirt?

"It's what we return to, Bells." He had smiled sadly at her when he saw her puzzlement at his picking up a handful of dirt near his mother's grave. "All of us. We return to the earth, as we should."

 _Thud_

He had looked out over the burial ground while he continued to speak. "Even the leeches. They turn into ash just like the rest of us." He then smirked up at her. "Eventually."

Ashes to ashes...

 _Thud_

He had stood up after releasing the dirt from his palm, wiping it off quickly, and came over to take her hand. Bella had encased his with both of hers, holding on tightly as they both stared down at the grave in front of them. "That's just what happens," he said quietly, evidently stuck in a memory. "We're on borrowed time here."

 _Thud_

Dust to dust...

 _Thud_

Bella knew which memory was replaying for him and she hated to see him so sad. She had squeezed his hand, prompting him to look down at her. She gave him a warm smile which he returned until hers melted into a playful smirk. "Well, then I suggest we make use of that time. As often as possible."

His eyes had lit up with that special fire. "You mean...?" She had nodded. "How long?"

"A day? Maybe two?"

He grinned wide and she had nearly laughed. She then did of course but only after releasing a small shriek when he had picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder. "Sounds like we've got our weekend planned out already." He then turned back to the grave below. "Sorry, Mom, but we've gotta go work on making you a grandma. I'll be back soon." Bella giggled the whole way to the truck as he had eagerly rushed to it.

 _Thud_

Bella had no idea then that he would keep his promise to return to his mother by coming to stay...permanently. What she wouldn't give to go back to that day, to see his smile, his excitement; to feel his touches, his kisses, that had happened not too long after that. To hear him tell her that he loved her as he did when they had lied there in bed, spent, before kissing her soundly. She would give anything... Anything.

 _Thud_

Heat wrapped around her left side, making her flinch. "Bella," Seth murmured. "Let's get you home."

She shook her head. "No," she choked out. "I'm not leaving him."

"Honey," Bella shut her eyes tightly in pain. "You have to. He wouldn't want you to do this to yourself."

 _Thud_

"No," she said louder, her voice cracking. "I won't leave him, Seth."

 _Thud_

"Bella," Seth whispered into her ear. "Don't do this. You're wet and shivering as it is. He made me promise that I'd look out for you and make sure you were okay if anything ever happened to him. You don't really want to make me break my promise, do you? He'd make sure I got my ass kicked," he chuckled lightly though there was no mirth in it and he knew Bella didn't see any of it in his weak attempt at a joke, either. But he had to try. He _had_ promised...

Bella stared down at the partially covered box and she knew that Seth was right. Her husband wouldn't want her to do this to herself. She could care less about her own well being but she had promised him, too. He had made sure to secure that promise once they were together and held her to it, reminding her every so often: after patrols, after taking over as Alpha of the Pack, on their honeymoon, the day they had moved into their home, sometimes after they made love... She _had_ promised him. She hated him right then for making her swear, for making her keep that promise and for most of all, for making her hate him, no matter how fleeting it had been.

 _Thud_

 _Thud_

 _Thud_

She watched as more heavy wet earth was added to the pile adorning the top of the casket, covering the carved head of the wolf right below the name 'Black'. She shut her eyes and gave a curt nod. Seth tightened his arm around her and gently started to pull her away. She slowly opened her eyes and looked back over her shoulder. Right next to Sarah Black's grave marker was a large mound of fresh dirt, right in front of where her husband now lay. Tears filled her eyes and spilled over. She had never been more grateful for the Washington rain. "Bye, Jake," she whispered and then it hit. Everything inside her collapsed and shattered, leaving only a hollow shell in place. "I'll be back soon," she forced out, barely registering Seth's tensing beside her. Another promise to Jake that she would keep, one way or another.

Bella thought of Jake's smile just then, of him telling her he loved her in Quileute, and the dam broke. She started to sob quietly, unable to hold it in any longer, and fell to her knees. Seth picked her up and cradled her to his chest, carrying her over to the awaiting truck in his arms, his own eyes filling with tears.

Jacob Black was gone.

* * *

 _First written/posted: 5/17/13_

 _Re-Edited: 10/26/16_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you to everyone for their kind words and support. I hope this next chapter is okay. x3**

 **If anyone would like further information on the fictitious direction I'll be taking this story in, concerning tribal matters, please see the author's note on the first chapter. Thank you. x3**

 **Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer, the creator of Twilight.**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 2**_

* * *

Bella sat there, staring numbly at the coffee table that separated her and the two wolves who had insisted on staying behind when everyone else had left. Seth's tie was hanging loosely from his neck while Sam's sat in a perfect knot as it had all during the funeral. Nobody said a word and out of the corner of her eye, Bella saw Seth incline his head in her direction, giving Sam a pointed look.

Sam cleared his throat but Bella didn't look at him. "Bella, I've spoken to the Council and they agree that you are more than welcome to stay here."

Bella's eyes snapped up to him then. "Welcome to stay here? Jake," She closed her eyes briefly in pain at saying his name. "Built this house. He owns the property!"

Seth held out a hand in supplication, trying to calm her down. "We know that, Bella. There's no-"

"He own _ed_ it, Bella," Sam cut in, making Bella stare at him in horror. He swallowed uncomfortably but his expression remained the same, as always. "Jake inherited this land from his mother when she died. Now that he's gone, there's no one to pass this house onto and the land automatically goes back to the reservation."

Bella was angry. "What do you mean there's no one to pass this house onto? There's-"

"There's no children," Sam said matter of factly.

Bella felt like she had been sucker punched. The pain was overwhelming. The one thing Jake had wanted most, she had never been able to give him. And now...Jake would never be a father to anyone. Ever. She struggled to swallow, to breathe. Seth glared at Sam one more time and moved to sit next to Bella. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her in close, resting his chin on top of her head. Bella was still reeling from Sam's statement before so she let him, though she in no way wanted to be comforted nor reminded of the heat of the sun that had been brutally taken away from her.

Sam must have felt guilty because when he spoke next, his tone had softened considerably. "There's no one named that the house and land should go to."

Bella's eyes started to burn with unshed tears but she refused to let them fall. "Billy," she whispered. "The twins..."

Sam shook his head slowly. "I'm afraid not, Bella. Sarah named Jake in her will as the person who would inherit this land when she passed. Solely. Jake didn't have a will made up."

"That's only because he didn't get a chance to yet. We were going to go get them done next month. We only moved in here a few months ago and we've been so focused with our appointments at the clinic. He-"

Sam sat forward slightly. "Bella," he interrupted her gently, probably being the gentlest Bella had ever seen him in all the time she had known him. "I'm sorry to say this but...none of that matters now. Not when it comes to the paperwork. As of this moment, the house and land belong to the Council." Bella lifted her glassy eyes to his and his heart broke for her. "I'm sorry."

Bella didn't say a word, only stared back down at that coffee table. Sam looked to Seth but the latter seemed as unsure as the former did on where to go from here. Sam decided to continue to give her the information the Council had charged him with delivering. He cleared his throat once more. "Being Billy's daughter-in-law and Jake's...widow," Bella's eyes closed again in pain, this time in response not just to his name but now her new title, her new...connection to Jake. "The Council has decided that you are more than welcome to stay here should you choose to. If you don't, they'll claim the land once you leave and decide whether or not to sell it to another tribe member. Should you choose to stay, they will be more than happy to accommodate you. You'll have a few months' grace period before rent would be expect-"

Bella's eyes snapped open and she was on her feet in a flash. "They're charging me? To live in my own house?"

Seth tried to take her hand but she snatched it away. "Bella, we don't think it's right, either-well, it's not," Seth said in response to Sam's fresh glare directed at him. Sam stayed quiet and Seth turned back to Bella. "We all know this is yours and Jake's house. There's no doubt about it in our minds but...there's nothing that can be done. It sucks majorly but because Jake didn't name you or Billy or even Rach to inherit the land, like Sam said, it goes back to the Council. That's the way things work around here, Bells." The familiar nickname had slipped out by accident and Bella's furious glare had Seth racing to correct himself. "I-I mean...it's just rez rules, Bella."

"Sell it? That's what they want to do?" Bella's eyes narrowed at Seth and then turned onto Sam, waiting for an answer. Sam nodded. "Fine. Then if they want to do that, I'll buy it from them." Seth started rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "What?" Bella snapped, irritated beyond belief. She had just lost her husband three days ago, three! Why were they, or the Council supposedly, bothering her with this right now? Didn't they know she had lost her soul mate only _three days ago_?

Sam spoke up then. "You wouldn't be considered as a potential buyer."

"Why?" Bella snapped at him this time. "Because I'm the _leech lover_ and Jake's," She sucked in a breath. "No longer here to convince them that I'm not that girl anymore? Or because-"

"Because you're not Quileute," Sam answered. "And you're not part of the tribe."

Bella was stunned. She didn't know whether she should be even more furious or upset. As she thought back over the year Jake had spent building this house, their _home_ , that he wanted them to raise their family in and spend their lives together in...she couldn't...she just couldn't. "Jake loved me...that never made a difference to him or Billy. You know that, Sam. Race was never an issue. Nor was the fact that I wasn't part of the tribe. What if God forbid something happened to you? Would they be so eager to kick Emily out of your home because she's half Makah and not fully Quileute? Because there's no children yet?" Sam's gaze dropped but truthfully, Bella had been kinder to him than he had been a minute earlier with that one extra word tacked onto her question: yet.

Sam always respected the Elders, the Council as a whole, but this was just cruel. He had helped Jake, as did all the Pack, build this house. All of them had shared Jake's mind at one time or another and knew his excitement at being able to present his Bells with such an enormous gift. Even now, Sam could recall Jake's happy grin the day after he had brought Bella here for the first time while the building was still in progress. He had heartily thanked Sam for helping with his construction knowledge and contacts he had made in starting a small business about a year and a half ago. He had recalled Bella's awe and eagerness to contribute by bringing the Pack lunch every day as they worked; a small token of her appreciation. Bella had hugged Sam tightly when she saw him next, the first one she had ever given him which surprised him and made everyone else laugh, even his Emily. It was a well known fact that Sam didn't do hugs or any kind of mushy affection, at all. But that day...Bella had been grateful and delighted and determined to show it, hugs and all. And now...now Jake was gone and here Sam was, telling his wife that she could no longer call the house he had painstakingly built for her, home. It was cruel, just plain cruel.

"Bella," he sighed quietly. While he was in opposition to the Council's decision regarding her fate just like Seth and the rest of the Pack, Sam would never publicly disagree with it; he had been raised to respect the Elders and their authority, always. "This isn't coming from me. I was only chosen as the messenger." He lifted his eyes back to hers. "I'm sorry." He really was but unfortunately...being sorry didn't change the facts. Bella either needed to stay and eventually pay rent for being permitted to stay on the land with no named inheritor or she had to move soon.

Bella tried to hold on as long as she could but when a certain thought hit her, the tears couldn't be kept back anymore. "But," she whispered. "Jake's buried here."

Seth's own eyes were starting to fill as he watched tears slide down Bella's cheeks, that hollow look she had to her since Jake's sudden death coming back with a vengeance as she verbalized the realization that she hadn't been willing to accept these last three days. Jake was gone and the only piece she had left of him - the home he had built for her and the nearness of the burial ground where Jake was now laid to rest, the family Bella had gained when she chose to stay with him - all of it was being taken from her at the same time Jake himself had been taken from her. She was losing everything and watching her realize it was worse than anything Seth had ever seen in his young life thus far. Other than witnessing what happened to Jake which he prayed Bella would never know the truth of.

Sam watched as she had this realization as well. He hurt for her. He and Bella had never been close, not like she was with Seth. Nor was he easy to talk to for her, like with Embry. He had never made her laugh, like Quil, or been threatened to get to know her because of the in-law ties they shared or else (via his imprint), like with Paul. He had never scarfed down her food and begged her for more, like Jared, or asked for her help with homework, like Colin, or crushed on her, like Brady. He had never even held such an intense hatred for her before being forced to be somewhat accepting of her by Alpha command (not one he himself had given), like Leah. He was pretty sure that since Jake had married Bella, she and Sam hadn't shared more than maybe ten words between them. But all the same, Sam still hurt deeply for her and wanted nothing more than to be able to tell her that everything would be alright, to tell her what she wanted to hear...but he couldn't.

And Bella knew that. She nodded once and sniffled, wiping her cheeks quickly. "When do they want an answer?"

Yesterday. But, the Council would never admit to that and even if they did, Sam would never say it. He might not decry the decision the Council had made, but he had enough decency to know that this was something that could wait until Bella had a chance to grieve the husband she had lost. "Soon. But only when you're ready to give it." He gave her a pointed look, telling her with his eyes not to hurry in the process.

She gave him a curt nod and ignoring Seth's hand on her shoulder, Bella disappeared down the hall. Only when the soft click of the bedroom door shutting could be heard did Seth let out a breath. "Christ," he muttered.

Sam glanced down at the coffee table Bella had been so focused on, wondering if there was any way he could convince the Council to change their minds. Bella might not be Quileute, a tribe member, but she was one of them. And if Jake knew what they were trying to do, especially to her...

"I'm glad you told her to take the time she needs. Screw the Council and this bullshit ploy to get the land back. Bella's right. The property is Jake's and it should go to her. She's his wife for crying out loud."

"The Council's only doing what they think is right, for all parties involved," Sam said absent-mindedly.

"Yeah, right. Come on, do you really think they give a flying fuck if-"

"Enough, Seth," Sam commanded and Seth's mouth shut. That didn't stop him from glaring at Sam, though. "This is a difficult situation all around. The land and the house can be taken care of later. Right now, Bella's our main priority."

Seth nodded, sighing again as he ran a hand through his hair. The gesture was so similar to Jake's that Sam forgot for a moment that it was Seth he was talking to. "Right. So, what's the plan? I was going to stay, if she wants me to that is, so I have nights covered but what about during the day?"

It was no secret that each one of the Pack members were worried about Bella and her tendency to do _questionable_ things when she went into a depression such as the one she was currently experiencing. Granted, it had only happened one other time, back when the leech had left her but Jake had been there to pick up the pieces. Not to mention that she knew the leech was alive -existing- out there somewhere. This time, Jake was gone and there was no doubt left to the fact that he would never be coming back. So, the Pack could only imagine what might happen now. If a cliff dive was attempted under the wolves' radar this time, what would happen since there would be no Jake around to save her?

Sam was the one who sighed this time. He thought it over for a minute and then nodded once. "I'll stay," he decided.

Seth's brows furrowed. "What? During the day?"

Sam shook his head, started loosening the knot on his tie and stood up. "No. Tonight. I'll stay."

Seth seemed uncertain of the sudden change in plans. "Are you sure? I mean, I was gonna take the couch and I already know where everything is..."

Sam finished with his tie and took it off, laying it on the arm of the loveseat he had been sitting on. He uncuffed his sleeves and rolled them up his forearms before unbuttoning the top two buttons at his collar. "You've been going nonstop the last few days. Take tonight to go home and rest up. If you want, you can come back tomorrow and take over. But for now, I've got it. Besides, Leah might try to call or come back and if she does, you should be there with Sue."

Seth scoffed. "Like I want to see her right now."

Sam turned a stern expression on him. "She made a mistake, Seth. She didn't plan for any of this to happen."

"Doesn't matter." Seth was harsh and unforgiving, two things he never was, especially towards his own sister, as much as she annoyed him at times. Sam had to force himself to remember that Bella wasn't the only one to lose a best friend that night. "It wouldn't have happened at all if she had just done what Jake had told her to."

Sam thought about that for a second. "Maybe," he conceded. "But what's done is done. Jake wouldn't want her to keep blaming herself and he wouldn't want you to keep blaming her, either. She's still your sister, Seth, and she needs you."

Seth glared at him. "Do you really think Jake would be so forgiving of her if he knew what was gonna happen to Bella now? That she's gonna lose this house and be ousted from the rez since in the Council's mind, she doesn't really belong here anymore? That only by Billy speaking up for her, that she even has the option to stay here and pay for it? Do you? After he built this place for her? After everything they went through? Do you?"

Sam lowered his eyes sadly to the sleeve of his shirt that he was still adusting. He knew Seth was right; that Jake would be furious if he knew what was going on with the Council regarding Bella. But he also knew that Jake wouldn't blame Leah for it. He might have a few choice words for her, just like he always had, like they had always had for each other (they bickered nonstop like siblings, more than Seth and Leah did at times), but that would be it. Leah wasn't doing anything to Bella and what had happened had been a genuine accident. Sam hadn't been there, he wished he had, but all the same, it was an accident. "Go home, Seth," he commanded gently.

Seth's glare intensified but he did as Sam said. As he reached the door and turned the knob, Sam stopped him. "Would you..." Seth turned and Sam sighed. "Would you do me a favor and check on Em before you go home? She's still expecting me. I'll call her later but I'd appreciate it if you could just look in on her for me."

"Is that a command?" Seth seethed.

Sam was the one glaring this time. "No, it's a favor. One I would do for you if our places were switched."

Seth nodded once and let out some anger in a breath. "Alright. I'll tell her you'll call her after I give her the 411 on Bella."

"Thanks."

Seth nodded again. "If Bella needs me..."

Sam nodded himself. "I'll call you."

Seth sighed one more time and opened the door. "Later." And then he was gone. Now it was just Sam and Bella. And by the sound of things, Sam's night had just begun.

 **-FTA-**

Sam had listened to Bella cry for so long he had lost track of time. He had done everything he could, doing something so he felt productive, felt that he was indeed helping. He did the dishes that Bella had uncharacteristically left in the sink. No matter how late, no matter how long the party, no matter how large the amount of dishes there were to be done, Bella cleaned everything before going to bed. Jake would make fun of her constantly, referring to what he called her "OCD-ness". Bella would hit Jake in the arm and he would laugh, but secretly, it was one of the things Jake loved to tease her about most. He had thoroughly enjoyed it when Bella would give him the whole lecture about how the kitchen was her space in the house and he could mess up every other room (except the bedroom) and she wouldn't care, but not the kitchen. _Never_ the kitchen. Sam had smiled at the memory that had echoed from Jake's thoughts when they had patroled together after one such talking to he had been given.

Sam studied the kitchen as he dried the serving dishes people had left behind. It was one of the largest rooms in the house, open and during the day, let in a lot of light. That had been one of Jake's ideas and he had been deadset on getting it done. As Sam looked around, he now knew why. He had been in this kitchen dozens of times and seen Bella inside it just as much, but never had he made that connection until now. Bella loved the light, the sun...hadn't she always called Jake her personal sun or something along those lines? No wonder Jake made sure she was nearly bathed in it in this room.

Bella's sobs were slowing down and her sniffles were quieting. He wondered if he should go check on her, let her know he was staying the night. But then what if Bella was embarrassed at being heard crying her heart out? One thing Sam knew from Jake's thoughts, Bella didn't like to cry and liked it even less if it happened in front of anyone, even _him_ sometimes. Would it make Bella feel worse to know that Sam had heard everything of the past half hour? Or would she not care?

Sam grimaced and wished Emily was here. She would know how to deal with all of this; she was much better at all of this than he was. He certainly had wanted to call her a couple of times in the last thirty minutes, needing to hear her voice, knowing it would soothe his own heart. But, he had refrained from doing so, feeling guilty since his wife was only a phone call away and she could do that for him while Bella no longer had her husband and she would never hear his voice ever again. It just didn't seem fair. That had also been part of the reason he had chosen to take tonight. Being able to go home and into Emily's arms while Bella couldn't do the same with Jake just seemed...cruel. There was that word again. Cruel. But it had seemed that way and in good conscience, Sam couldn't and he allowed the guilt to consume him. He knew if Jake could, he would switch places with him in a heartbeat so he could go home to Bella, a heartbeat that Jake no longer had.

Once the dishes were done and the counters had been wiped clean, Sam paused to listen. Bella's breathing was slower, deeper...she had fallen asleep. He sighed in relief. Rest was the best thing for her right now.

He made his way back into the living room and sat down on the couch. He debated turning the television on but felt it would be inappropriate given the situation. He was here to keep an eye on Bella, not check out sports or catch up on the news. Instead, he crossed his arms over his chest, closed his eyes, hung his head and waited.

* * *

 _First written: 5/17/13_

 _Re-Edited: 10/26/16_


End file.
